Take surprise in stride

Not everyone can deal with the surprise factor. When the unexpected happens, it can often lead to frustration. From the smallest of things such as the car breaking down and losing data on the computer to the end of a marriage and a loved one's death, some events are just difficult to stomach.

Psychoanalyst Melanie Klein said that people need to understand that frustration is a part of work and life. However, having to deal with unexpected surprises is often not a welcome thought.
Oddly enough, this behaviour begins in childhood, especially when the child gets whatever he asks for, whenever he wants it. Parents should deal with children firmly, even when it is easier to give in to their whims. Such children are likely to enter adulthood unable to cope with the surprises and disappointments of daily life.
Even when people are able to accept disappointment, they find it difficult to regain their emotional strength. This is often seen at the time of taking forced retirement or submitting a resignation, when a person often has to change their expectations and dreams drastically.
In times of conflict and crisis, unstable emotions and stress can lead to disease, anxiety and somatisation. Understanding that life is not always ideal does not mean that you must stop dreaming. You need to adapt as best as possible to what cannot be changed, and alternatively try to turn the loss into something more positive. If you think in a mature way, you must learn to intensely focus on time periods such as 'after' and 'from now on.'

The reinforcement of mature behaviour is necessary right from childhood, especially because many from the current generation would agree with phrases like, "I have everything I want," or, "My father gives me everything I ask for."
Children often behave irrationally when they cannot have their way. Parents sometimes give in to unreasonable demands when they are unable to spend enough time with their children. They end up easing their guilt by showering children with material gifts.
Knowing when to wait and when to resign oneself to life is an essential part of building a healthy and balanced personality. Adults who are unprepared for suffering and unpleasant events often break down and come close to losing control over their own lives.
Support groups help greatly in dealing with a personal loss or other problems such as alcoholism, drug abuse, Down syndrome, etc. They quickly help people adapt to the new reality and circumstances of a family member.
Basically our ability to deal with reality is hampered because we believe that once our day begins, it will end as planned. The possibility of setbacks is excluded, and somehow we feel omnipotent in relation to what we want to accomplish. Understanding one's own finitude and limitations is a big step in developing maturity and gaining acceptance of the surprise factor.

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