Love and betrayal

Several times during my professional life, I have encountered people who have cheated on their partner or been cheated on in relationships. Those who have been cheated on usually end up feeling lost and not knowing what to do or think. Betrayals of this kind cause severe pain and lead to serious self-doubt all over the world. I truly believe that a person in love will not betray. One who is truly in love does not feel the need to experience anything else. He/she is not open to new experiences and is in a particular relationship as a result of a mature and adult choice, and not because of moral values or fear of losing the person they fell in love with.
Being in love is much more than what a person wants or needs. It is a sharing that takes place naturally from both sides, with no demands and no stronger links. I believe the big problem of society lies here, because we don’t know about real love.
Modern society doesn’t permit us to develop and be mature when it comes to our emotions. As a result, we end up falling in love or being in a relationship in an immature and selfish way. If this is the case, it is very natural that people will cheat, after all, it's almost a condition of being human. We must understand the need for seeking and experiencing different things that sharpen our senses and stimulate our emotions.
In therapy, with the issue of betrayal usually comes the question: Should I forgive him or not? Will he/she do it again? Can I ever trust him/her? The reality is, what is that part of love that made you feel betrayed? How do you love and how do you feel about it?
The answer usually lies in the way that we love the other someone. Is our love mature? If you someone asks you why you love your partner, would your answer be something like, “He/she makes me feel good,” or, “He/she makes me feel stronger,” or prettier, safe, etc? Then it seems you are not experiencing real love, but what you like in this relationship is the way that person makes you feel about yourself and about life. So the lack of maturity and over self-centeredness are what stop us from reaching out with love.
Sometimes we are just in the wrong relationship, but if you end up there it is usually not by chance. The worst part is that you can recognise it, but you can’t end it.
If you can see yourself in any of these situations, you should consider therapy to find yourself and understand whether you love, if you are loved as per your expectations, and whether those expectations are real.
So, once again you might ask me, shall I forgive or not? Which of these options is conducive to mental health? That will only depend on how you love. Trust me, it is always possible to be truly happy!