Love and betrayal

Several times during my professional life, I have encountered people who have cheated on their partner or been cheated on in relationships. Those who have been cheated on usually end up feeling lost and not knowing what to do or think. Betrayals of this kind cause severe pain and lead to serious self-doubt all over the world. I truly believe that a person in love will not betray. One who is truly in love does not feel the need to experience anything else. He/she is not open to new experiences and is in a particular relationship as a result of a mature and adult choice, and not because of moral values or fear of losing the person they fell in love with.
Being in love is much more than what a person wants or needs. It is a sharing that takes place naturally from both sides, with no demands and no stronger links. I believe the big problem of society lies here, because we don’t know about real love.
Modern society doesn’t permit us to develop and be mature when it comes to our emotions. As a result, we end up falling in love or being in a relationship in an immature and selfish way. If this is the case, it is very natural that people will cheat, after all, it's almost a condition of being human. We must understand the need for seeking and experiencing different things that sharpen our senses and stimulate our emotions.
In therapy, with the issue of betrayal usually comes the question: Should I forgive him or not? Will he/she do it again? Can I ever trust him/her? The reality is, what is that part of love that made you feel betrayed? How do you love and how do you feel about it?
The answer usually lies in the way that we love the other someone. Is our love mature? If you someone asks you why you love your partner, would your answer be something like, “He/she makes me feel good,” or, “He/she makes me feel stronger,” or prettier, safe, etc? Then it seems you are not experiencing real love, but what you like in this relationship is the way that person makes you feel about yourself and about life. So the lack of maturity and over self-centeredness are what stop us from reaching out with love.
Sometimes we are just in the wrong relationship, but if you end up there it is usually not by chance. The worst part is that you can recognise it, but you can’t end it.
If you can see yourself in any of these situations, you should consider therapy to find yourself and understand whether you love, if you are loved as per your expectations, and whether those expectations are real.
So, once again you might ask me, shall I forgive or not? Which of these options is conducive to mental health? That will only depend on how you love. Trust me, it is always possible to be truly happy!

Is your child Hyperactive?

It is common for any child to be active, sometimes even excessively, and this is normal. Likewise, it is common for children to lack interest and become disorderly, especially at school. But before we categorise this behaviour as 'hyperactivity,' we must understand that hyperactivity is characterised by uninterrupted activity. A hyperactive individual is active 24 hours a day, and even sleeps restlessly. When he is physically exhausted, his mind still needs to be active. Even though the body can not take it, the mind remains in action.
Hyperactivity is not a disease in itself, and is usually a symptom of disorders such as Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, some types of Attention deficit disorder, Obsessive-compulsive disorder and other learning or behavioural disorders.
There are several angles to consider: When a child is very active, always busy and never seems to get tired, you should observe how he sleeps. If he has restless sleep with or without nightmares, sleeps fitfully, falls out of bed or suffers from tics, seizures or other symptoms, he should be referred to a professional (paediatrician, therapist or psychiatrist) who is able to identify and treat the condition, or can refer the child to a specialist.
If the child's sleep is quiet and restful, we can say that he is normal. Then all you should do is leave him to spend all his energy during the day and to sleep and rest quietly at night. If the child is of school-going age, he should attend a school that has enough space for playing, and good toys.
If the child is not in school yet, it is up to parents to take him to a public park or playground. They can play instructive games with him, like play puppet theatre, for example. It is possible to make simple puppets with your child and then use them for this purpose. It will keep him busy for a long time and is an educational activity. In addition, many other activities can be organised with creativity and patience. Parents can explore several avenues to keep their children occupied and entertained.
In the case of indiscipline in small children, the quality of education should be reviewed as indiscipline and poor education often go together. If the child has a discipline problem in school, the number of unruly students in the class should be analysed.
If the entire class is well behaved and only a few students are disobedient, you should check who is responsible, since one child's bad manners may be causing a disturbance. When in doubt, a psychologist's intervention can be sought, because a psychologist can see if the children have any problems and/or forward them to other professionals for treatment.
If the whole class is undisciplined, it is likely that the teacher is boring, or some other factors are at play. A creative and interested teacher can surely find ways to make a class dynamic and interesting, and also discipline the children.
In case of exaggerated hyperactivity, seizures without complications, or if it is impossible to control the child, he should be referred to a psychologist or neuropsychologist who will be able to identify the disorder and treat it.