Playing is necessary

Things like playing are important for the development of a child. We can be led to think that a game is just a way to pass time, but it is clearly much more than that. A game comes to us as a more spontaneous child activity, contributing to the growth and development of various facets of personality. The function of a game is self educating. It is through this that the child grows and evolves into adolescence and maturity.

Psychomotricity and intellectual activity
Toys favour development of gestures, movement coordination and control. While playing with marbles, for example, children try to acquire some precision. This precision is of utmost importance for motor coordination. At the same time, the attraction by colours or by shapes, their proper use, and in some didactical games, the possibility of seriation (from the largest to smallest; different sizes and colour), can promote the development of thought.
The child learns, stores data in his memory and studies the cause-effect relationship. This helps him find new strategies to solve problems and learn how to control emotions.

Security and affection
A toy has strong significance in this area. Powered by magical forces, it allows an affective relationship whose effect can be very reassuring. We all know children who sleep hooked to their dolls or teddy bears because these seem to transmit security and affection.
Replace, symbolically, the mother and, in this way, it is possible to find an internal balance. The intensity of the relationship established between children and their toys, combined with the possibility of downloading emotions and feelings, is often a spontaneous process of psychotherapy.
A child may toss his or her doll into the air, beat it or pull off its hair as a way to vent inner rage that could be very harmful if continued to be internalised. Parents get worried when their child, while playing with a friend, uses words like “kill you,” or "I'll shoot you.” These moments are of utmost importance because they can put away internal conflicts.
Never give children the idea that the world around us is full of good things. There are fairies and princes, but also witches.
This is a time when their aggression is expanded and exorcises the bad things that exist within it. If the child is able to embody the big bad wolf and Little Red Riding Hood, he will have a chance to become a balanced adult who, in adverse situations, will find sensible solutions.
Learning the rules
While sharing play activities with others, respecting rules of the game, assuming different roles and including other participants, the child learns rules of human behaviour and draws up a process of socialisation.
Through these things, he realises that there are laws that one needs to respect for things to go well. "Now it's my turn,” "I won and you lost..." terms like these convey the message that children must respect others so that they can maintain a healthy co-existence.

What is hyperactivity?

Hyperactive children have difficulty in observing and learning. They are unable to filter stimuli and are easily distracted. These children are usually very talkative, talk loudly and at inopportune moments.
They are always on the move, always doing something and are unable to stay silent. They are impulsive and do not stop to look or listen. Due to their seemingly endless reserves of energy, curiosity and need to explore things, they are more prone to injury and to break and damage things.
Hyperactive children do not have much patience. Their moods often fluctuate, making parents, teachers, adults and friends bear the brunt of their tantrums. These children form a quick attachment to people and need lots of attention to keep them calm.
It is important for parents to make hyperactive children understand social rules and expectations. The problem is that such children find it difficult to obey them. This behaviour is incidental and not deliberate.
For a hyperactive child and his family, a trip to an amusement park or supermarket can be potentially disastrous. There's just a lot going on and it is very stimulating at the same time. Due to an inability to concentrate and the constant bombardment of stimuli, a hyperactive child may become stressed.
With a constant desire to please, a hyperactive child is unable to control himself. He can be gradually discouraged from hyperactive behaviour. The child is usually intelligent, but you can't slow down the nervous system, which requires the mind's potential to complete a task.
A hyperactive child often feels isolated and segregated from his peers, but doesn't understand why he is so different. Such children are sometimes disturbed by their own disability. Unable to perform routine tasks at school, on the playground or at home, a hyperactive child can suffer from stress, depression and low self-esteem.
A behavioural specialist can help you distinguish between a normally active and energetic child and a hyperactive one. Even the smallest of children can run around and play happily for hours on end without showing any sign of fatigue or feeling sleepy.
An accurate diagnosis is essential to ensure that the child receives proper treatment. Ask the child's teacher to speak to the doctor or send you a written report.
A child specialist can usually make an accurate diagnosis.
To treat an overactive child, help him interact with family members and to make friends at school. Parents of hyperactive children are often worried and always on the alert. Consequently, it is easy to feel tired and frustrated at times.

Food guidelines
Start eliminating refined sugar and additives from your child's diet. Read the labels carefully and eliminate processed foods that contain colourants, preservatives and artificial sweeteners, as well as flavouring, which is commonly related to nitrates, sulphites and benzoates.
Studies show that more than 50 per cent of hyperactive children have fewer behavioural and sleep problems when they follow a restricted diet that does not contain artificial additives and chemicals, chocolate, monosodium glutamate, preservatives and caffeine.

Treatment
The first step is to look for a competent psychologist and get your child assessed so that you can understand what is going on.
Before any treatment is prescribed, a physical examination should be done to rule out other causes of erratic behaviour, such as a chronic middle ear infection, sinusitis, visual impairment, hearing aids and other neurological problems.
Make the child participate in projects that he likes, to help him concentrate. Learning to focus will gradually change the way he sees the world. Seek his help to complete a project. This will help him feel competent and acquire a greater sense of self esteem. When he completes a task successfully, do not forget to compliment him. Verbal praise can be a great source of encouragement.

Obesity in children

What is Obesity
Obesity is a chronic illness that comes with multiple complications, characterized by excessive accumulation of fat within a magnitude such that compromises the health, among the most common complications is diabetes mellitus, hypertension, lipid metabolism, musculoskeletal changes and the increased incidence of some types of carcinoma and mortality rates.
Obesity is the result of ingesting more energy than necessary. There is no doubt that this excessive consumption can start time phased very remote, in which the cultural influences and family habits have a key role. So we say that obesity has multiple character factors, such as genetic, psychosocial agents, cultural, nutritional-metabolic and endocrine. Obesity therefore is generated by interaction between genetic factors and cultural, as well as families.
There is a clear trend among members of the same family have a body mass index (BMI) similar. There are several scientific publications that have demonstrated a correlation between BMI of fathers and sons, suggesting that probably both genes as a shared family environment, contribute to the development of obesity.
Obesity in childhood
According to the Child Psychiatry Manual, 1983, a child is considered obese when exceeds 15 average weight corresponding to his age, since excess weight corresponds to the accumulation of lipids, which can be measured by the thickness of the fold of skin. However, it is not easy to establish parameters which define exactly the boundary between normal weight, overweight and obesity.
Influence of genetic heritage
The biological variety of the people regarding the storage of excess energy intake is too large. This fact is closely related to the individual susceptibility and their genetic heritage.
Accordingly, some people will never have overweight or obese, others may increase in weight as they increase in age, and yet others can start weight increase since childhood and keep it in later ages.
Therefore, believe doctors and experts from various areas of the participants, it is possible to reduce the Consensus influence of genetic susceptibility to changes in culture by making food family and also of the population as a whole, through education and prevention programs.
Psychological factors have an influence on Obesity
Also takes into account the influence of emotional disorders and psychological factors on the prevalence of obesity. the psychic mechanisms of oral fixation, oral regression and overestimating the value of foods are of great impact on the way people develop eating habits. It is common, for example, that a past history of body image depression and poor appetite control primitive conditioning leads to eating disorders such as bulimia, anorexia and obesity.
However, in addition to the genetic, psychological and family influences, the most important factors for the increase in the incidence of obesity was added in the sedentary life habits and consumption of processed foods with the highest content of fats, carbohydrates and less amount of fiber.

Stuttering

Stuttering is a language disorder occurring in about 0.8 per cent of children and adolescents.

Causes of stuttering
Some studies on stuttering twins led the authors to claim the existence of a genetic factor as one of the causes of stuttering. Other cases of stammering in the family were found in 34 per cent of cases.
Based on these studies, scientists have found that, if a man has a history of stuttering, his daughters will have a 10-20 per cent chance of suffering from the disorder as well. Many stutterers are also left-handed or face difficulties related to laterality as children, i.e., poor coordination of gestures.
These problems can be identified in children who have an ability to stick objects together and solve puzzles. Although initially all fingers pointed to the existence of correlation between lateralisation and language disorders, it is certain that many left-handers never suffer from speech disorders.
A large number of authors say that the parent-child relationship can sometimes trigger stammering.
The mother's emotional attitude is vital in stimulating the infant to communicate, and the quality of communication depends entirely on how encouraging this relationship is.
Mothers who are distant and a little cold towards the child can trigger anxiety that may lead to the first symptoms of stuttering. Often this type of behaviour by a mother oscillates in a contradictory manner, swinging between a possessive attitude or one of rejection or aggression.
At one moment the mother can be extremely affectionate, but may later be emotionally unavailable. These attitudes may disturb children and result in speech disorders.
Stuttering can be very annoying in adolescent social life. Being a teenager, by itself, is a time of great internal conflict. When some teenagers face this problem, they become even more greedy for social contact, but face difficulties because of stammering. Others become a subject of mockery for their peers.
This causes low self-esteem and can lead to isolation. School psychologists have found that those who stammer often have a higher than average IQ. However, despite the fact that stuttering is not a mental defect, it does not cease to be a big disadvantage for adaptation in school.
It is for this reason that the average school delay of stutterers is estimated at a year and a half. Family members may be overprotective of a child who stammers, leading to slower development.
What the family can do
Do not increase the child's anxiety. Talk quietly, making him feel that you have the time to listen to what he is saying.
Listen to the stories he tells, appreciating, whenever possible, his capacity for observation. This way, you can show how much you like to listen and talk to him despite the speech impairment.
Resist the urge to stop the child and help him by completing sentences.
Help him increase his vocabulary and gift of speech by reading him a story at bedtime. This will benefit the child once he starts school.
Avoid exposing the child to complicated situations that cause anxiety. Try to find a balance, never giving into the temptation of overprotecting, but always bearing in mind that your child's self-esteem is fragile. Don't let the family comment or make fun of this problem.
Play games with your child that include singing songs and reciting verses. Children usually react well when something is intoned peacefully. This will prepare the child for pre-school.
Solutions for stammering
There are several ways to address this problem:
Speech therapy
Practicing relaxation techniques
Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy is effective by itself or as a complement to other kinds of intervention. Those going through specific crises in adolescence can benefit from it. Psychotherapy is also an option to be considered in order to free children of any anxieties or conflict.

Sibling rivalry

When we think of rivalry between siblings, things like jealousy, envy, competition, and other abnormal and negative behaviour always comes to mind. Jealousy is reprehensible and forbidden, especially when experienced by an older child on the birth of a sibling.

Many parents tell the older child that jealousy is ugly and should never exist as he is the younger one's friend and play companion. This is true, but there is another aspect to it.
When a younger sibling is born, he will share everything the older child was so far used to getting all for himself. These include parental love, the house, sometimes the room, toys and relatives' attention.
The older child realises this at the outset when his mother gets pregnant. The division of the womb begins from then on. Jealousy in this case is expected, and therefore normal.
It is unusual when the older child does not experience any rivalry towards the new-born and treats him amicably. If that happens, we can say that this is strange and disturbing. It is generally not part of the nature of the child, and, of course, his jealousy may surface sometimes.
Intense jealousy can be a source of great anxiety for parents. Jealousy in children, when it is not too strong, is a normal personality trait. It involves a healthy rivalry. When this occurs in sibling relationships, it is a preparatory training for the competitive phase, which the child must face in the social and professional environment later.
Hostility and hatred are the most common manifestations of jealousy. Hostility can range from mild manifestations of aggression and minor peeves to a complete intolerance of the younger sibling, with a desire to 'eliminate' the hated individual.
Jealousy can also be manifested indirectly. The child experiences anxiety and directs his hostility openly towards his brother.
There may also be a regression in the older child's behaviour: anger or aggression against the parents, a lack of appetite, refusal to study or failure in academic tests.
When this phase extends so far, it may threaten the child's personality growth, leading to ambivalence and indecision, difficulty in carrying out tasks that require a capacity for abstraction, as well as in reaching logical conclusions.
In order to rebel against a younger sibling's presence, a child may do the opposite of what parents want him to. For example, if the parents want him to be a good student, be disciplined, etc, the child may behave in exactly the opposite manner in order to attract their attention.
There are also passive mechanisms. The child sometimes internalises his hostility. He may experience nervous tics and speech difficulties, begin bed-wetting or want parents to put food in his mouth - stages which he may have already outgrown.
Another passive mechanism is when the child is listless, dull, lazy and unenthusiastic. He may also lock himself in emotionally, and cease normal relations with other family members.
Since affectivity and intelligence are closely linked, the academic progress and personality development of these children is often impacted. Another passive mechanism is self-devaluation. The child thinks he is not important anymore and keeps a low profile. This depressive reaction may even lead to self-destructive behaviour.
Parents need to praise the child and channel his aggression into activities he performs with ease, such as swimming or another sport. He should be encouraged to make new friends and visit different places. Comparisons with the younger sibling must obviously be avoided. They are inevitable, but will hopefully be done by outsiders.
To say that a younger sibling is more intelligent, capricious or loving will not serve to stimulate a child. On the contrary, it will only make him feel ashamed and inferior. When he grows up, he is likely to be perceived as unwise or unaffectionate, which is not unusual.
We often find adults or teenagers who think they are ugly, incompetent or unimaginative because they always have been compared to younger siblings or other children.
Comparisons of this kind undermine the child's character traits and delay his development. When we talk about comparisons made by parents, we must also take into account their preferences, which can affect the child's emotional development.
Parents should identify and highlight the positive behaviour of each child. Their individual skills and talents should always be valued and never compared. When a child shares a caring and loving relationship with his parents, he will find other relationships easier to manage.

Gifted Children

It is difficult to determine the mental development of a child. It is particularly difficult to assess in very young children. Educators recognise two types of skills - intellectual and creative - and programmes for gifted children today are labelled ‘gifted and talented’. Bright and healthy children from stimulating environments often cannot fit into these classifications. Usually, they are very inquisitive about the world around them, are creative with words as they learn to speak and, while they are playing, are creative with toys.

Some love books and learn to read well before school age. They are eager to learn and some show early indications of interest and a special talent for music, art, theatre or dance. The fantasy world is a strong call for some who use their imaginations in creative ways.
If you’re a mother or father of a child who may be gifted, you’re probably happy about that, but at the same time, maybe, also concerned. You may be torn between pushing too hard and challenging enough to stimulate your child’s brilliance. A formal evaluation is the most reliable way to determine whether the development of a child lies in the official classification of ‘gifted and talented’.
The evaluation of a gifted child should be performed by a person or a service that has experience with young children and also with tests and methods of appropriate interpretation.
This involves the use of certain standardised tests which measure the development of skill levels and talent, but almost never involve evaluating the use of intelligence tests, because of the instability of IQ at early ages.
The results of an evaluation indicate, which areas of learning that a child may begin to dominate at an early age and the reading level appropriate for him/her.
Many gifted and talented children do not read before going to school. Early reading is not the sole criterion for mental or exceptional creative ability. An assessment of your child is a good idea to accumulate evidence or information.
Keep a written record of his/her observation. Use examples and note these features:
Early talking with a vocabulary similar to that of an adult and exceptionally insightful questions or comments or cunning,
Excellent memory,
Knack for drawing or other artwork,
Ability to focus on an activity for long periods of time.
Educators also suggest that you continue to encourage your child’s natural curiosity, without pressure or force. Provide any enriching experiences as possible, especially that your child likes. Take advantage of opportunities in bookstores, children’s museums and the like. Try to find other parents willing to join you and share your knowledge and enthusiasm and lead children to appropriate educational tours.
Remember that the most gifted children are children first, then gifted. It is easy to treat a gifted child as if she were much older, however, they are immature for some things.
All children, whatever their abilities and potentials, need love, attention. Parents should not try to turn them into miniature adults.

Does couple therapy help?

When differences arise between a couple, should they work on the relationship or separate? How and when should this decision be made?

As in any relationship, one person is more flexible and understanding than the other. Some spouses are more radical and have low tolerance levels, especially when it comes to dealing with change. I have noticed differences arising between couples when one partner perceives that the other’s attitude is not the same as before.
Complaints like “But you were not...,” “have changed,” “you don’t go out with me anymore...," “spend too much time in the office” then begin to emerge. What leads to this change? How does a union get affected when both partners are troubled?
When we unite with someone, we need to be completely sure that the decision is the right one for infinite happiness. However, it turns out over several years that life is dynamic and can change, situations change, and that these personal changes sometimes end up interfering with the union.
Small differences lead to lengthy discussions and bickering as the couple becomes a family with the arrival of children. In addressing this subject, I refer to the most tense situations, where the climate is less conducive to dialogue and understanding.
The question asked in the title is almost impossible to answer because each case is unique. There are no fast rules, but there are some considerations to be made for reflection.
Communication is undeniably present in any relationship, regardless of whether it includes affection or not. A kind gesture can be disregarded by someone who does not even recognise the act. A misplaced word can give rise to a heated discussion if there is no tolerance and understanding from a partner.
Some people always try to read between the lines of what is said or done. They are always wondering, “Did the person have an intention to attack me by saying that? Or was he/she distracted and answered abruptly?”
One of the two may become a control freak and ask too many questions, wanting to be aware of the minutest details of the partner’s day. Or else one may plan several things without bothering that the other partner does not even show the slightest interest in any of it.
Many times, change occurs in conjunction with good understanding. Sometimes one partner cannot understand the suffering of the other one, who may be displaying unusual behaviour or keeping a distance.
I believe that couple therapy may help in these cases. The therapist enters as a mediator, trying to translate what one partner means and the other cannot understand, mostly under the influence of emotions.
Is there a way to initiate separation when a person has no courage to face the situation? Initiating dialogue can be complicated, because when the partners try to communicate, they may get overwhelmed and not arrive at any conclusion.
Even if there is affection between them, if a distance is gradually building up and making the partners indifferent, the presence of a professional contributes greatly to the clarity of the picture.
There is no one advice that one can give such couples. They can either separate, or stay in the relationship and tolerate the situation.
The final decision will always be up to the partners. However, during counselling sessions, the couple gets a chance to discuss their problems and complaints, which may bring them closer and help them clarify misunderstandings. The truth appears and fears diminish, making things clearer.
A fear of change is inherent in human beings. It is one of the reasons that people are often miserable. Many things change with separation, and this is why people tend to delay decisions.
Therefore, to sum it up, couple therapy is a good option when one or both partners realise that there is something missing in the relationship.